Thursday, May 20, 2010

Rejected Book Titles

As a former Christian bookstore owner and manager, I loved what we did.  I also loved poking fun at what I did and so did the person(s) who crafted this list of children's books that didn't quite make it to the printing press.  I wish I could claim credit for it but I can’t, nor can I even give credit to the rightful creator since I don’t know who it was.  Enjoy a few laughs on those of us who sell books!

Kid’s books that didn’t make the cut:

1.     Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
2.     Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
3.     The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
4.     Julie Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
5.     Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
6.     All Cats Go to Hell
7.     The Little Sissy Who Snitched
8.     Some Kittens Can Fly
9.     That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
10.  Grandpa Gets a Casket
11.  The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
12.  Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
13.  The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
14.  Strangers Have the Best Candy
15.  Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
16.  You Were an Accident
17.  Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
18.  Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
19.  The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
20.  Your Nightmares Are Real
21.  Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
22.  Why Can't Mr. Fork and Miss Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
23.  Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
24.  Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
25.  You’re Different and That’s Bad
26.  Girls are from Venus and Boys are from Cootieland
27.  Joe Camel and the Magic Cancer Stick
28.  Furious George Delivers the Mail   
29.  Johnny’s Adventure in the Medicine Cabinet
30.  Curious George and the Busy Intersection
31.  Green Eggs & Ham:  The Atkins Diet Revolution for Children
32.  You’re Different and That’s Bad
33.  The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
34.  The Big Books of Things to Put in Your Ear
35.  Why Mommy’s Boyfriends Pay Her
36.  My First Meth Lab
37.  Why Brittany Spears is Rich and the World’s Best Cellist is Unknown
38.  Enforcing the New World Order Starts on the Playground

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