Monday, December 6, 2010

Dear Santa . . .

Our pastor began his message this weekend by telling us what he wanted for Christmas.  It was a simple request.  He wanted the remainder of the funds to come in to pay for the 2,500 bikes that our church will give away to families of deserving kids this Christmas and for the volunteers to help assemble them this week and distribute them on Saturday.  Sounds like a reasonable request, doesn't it?  I'm betting that he gets what he wished for.

That prompted me to think about what I would like for Christmas this year.

Since Crossroads Books & Gifts closed in August of  2009, I have not worked in a traditional job.  In those 16 months, I have written for and had articles published in several publications but only one of those publications has actually paid for my submissions.  Although that publication has been my primary writing outlet, it hasn't generated enough income to count as a "real job."  During this season, I have enjoyed both writing and househusbanding (that's a word that I just coined), taking on primary responsibility for many of our routine household tasks.  The time has come for me to contribute more significantly to our family income again and that brings me to my Christmas wish list.

It's simple, really.  I'd like to find a means of gainful employment by which I can make a small but positive difference in the world.  I don't have to make a large amount of money or even work full time.  The job need not be glamorous or high profile.  At the end of the day, I just want to think that by doing this job that I have somehow made the world or even one person's life a tiny bit better. I want to be able to use my God-given talents, modest as they are,  in a meaningful way.

I'm much more of a "what you see is what you get" kind of person rather than a "think like a winner, act like a winner, be a winner" kind of guy.  I am who I am  . . . warts and all.  At the risk of being inappropriately transparent, I'll confess that not being the principle "bread winner"of our family for the last 16 months has eroded some of my self-esteem.  I've written about this subject before (click here to read it) but it's just a fact that much of a man's self-worth is tied to being the family provider.  Maybe that shouldn't be the case, but it is.

I don't expect to find this job tied-up neatly in wrapping paper with a bow on top but I believe there actually is something out there for me to do that will meet these needs and  I'm anxiously am looking forward to unwrapping it (metaphorically-speaking) this Christmas.

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